In ten years...

Engagement Photo

Our wedding was supposed to take place on the afternoon of September 4th, 2004, but God had other plans.  Thanks to Hurricane Francis, we had to bump it up to the evening of September 3rd.. and I still have to stop and think about what the correct real date actually is for our wedding. Still. No lie, I was thinking I was going to write this for *tomorrow*. Hurricane Jeanne crashed our make-up reception 3 weeks later..but that's another entry for another day.  

A lot has happened in our lives in 10 years.  One decision you make changes the entire path of your life.  And this is not "Sliding Doors" so there is no way to know what life would have been like "If..."  But here are some of the high & low points that I could recall with my failing mommy brain.

In ten years..

We've spent approximately 140 days at Walt Disney World. Truth.  I love it there and he humors me.  We've visited family in Chicago and Ohio, honeymooned in North Carolina and shortly paused in the states in between.  We were supposed to [finally] go to NYC for our 10th but without mom, childcare is a hurdle. Maybe someday I'll get to "Be a Part of it".  

In ten years..

We took over my teenage home, moved when we bought our own house, changed jobs, lost jobs, liked & hated new jobs, and finally settled into positions we love; John a commercial electrician at a company in Orlando that contracts with Disney and me, a SAHM with a little papercrafting on the side.

In ten years..

I lost one baby at 11 weeks, had a knocked-out emergency C-section with my first delivered child, fought & won for a VBAC on #2 despite great interventions and 2 inductions, and delivered #3 drug-free naturally. Of the 3 different ways for my babies to enter the world, I vote for #3.  Only the Lord knows if more are to come though.

In ten years..

I laughed at homeschooling, pondered homeschooling, and SOLD OUT to homeschooling.  Funny how a few years can change your perspective on things.  When God calls you to it, He'll help you get through it.

In ten years..

I've buried a childhood dog, got bit in the face by a dog we were going to adopt [obviously didn't], fought cancer & lost with another, lost a 6 year old poodle way too soon, years later adopted another that only sleeps, and inherited my moms dog that seems to be outliving everyone.  Clearly, I'm a dog person.  

In ten years..

Found, Met & Connected, for the first time, with my half sister and step sister that will only be called "Sisters" going forward.  I went from being an only child to a full whole other family in a matter of 3 years thanks to Facebook.

In ten years..

John's lost both of his maternal grandparents. I lost my grandmother 4 years ago and my mom this year.  Life changed completely for all of us and nothing will ever be the same.  

In ten years..

We've made friends, drifted from friends, had friends traveling on the path with you and those that are driving down another road but you still love them, old friends renewed, new friends that feel like old ones, cried & laughed with friends only God could pick for you, and miss friendships that peacefully parted ways in the ebb & flow of life.  

In ten years..

We've had good times, bad times, devastating moments, and times of laughter & fun, been betrayed & loved, disappointed & elated.  This is life as humans. There is no perfect man, woman, or marriage on this earth, any expectation of that is delusional.   But the splendor is found in adversity, in fighting for your marriage & family, in giving and receiving grace, in realizing that He will bring "beauty from your ashes" and it's only in the Refiner's fire that your true shine will be revealed.  There is merit in sticking with it when you *think* it would be easier to walk out, in realizing that God is not finished with me anymore than He is finished with any of us, in knowing that in the hard times we've walk, we are closer to God and each other. 

God picked you for me, John Dearie, so I'm counting on Him as he reveals each & every step ahead.  The verse on our wedding invitation has proven to be so true in our walk, " “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts". Isaiah 55:8-9NLT  

It has not always been easy, as nothing of real value usually is, but I know at the end of my life, I will say "It was worth it".

Happy 10th Anniversary!

Johnathan's Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Choo Choo Express Birthday #DisneySide

How can this little guy be 2 years old already.

I was picked to host a "DisneySide Home Celebrations" party.  

What they didn't know is that pretty much every birthday is Disney themed in our little Dearieland! 

I was shipped an amazing piece of luggage, random supplies that had something to do with Disney running & ESPN sports [??], HP cards for printing, Hanes Tshirts to decorate, and Mickey Mouse plates, cups, & Party decorations.  

Since we were having it at a park and it was for a 2 year old, I opted to use only the latter items but passed the other items on to loving homes [except that sweet rolling luggage..that baby is mine!]. 

One of Johnathan's first clear words outside of family names was "Choo Choo". 4+ years ago, Jesse's first grouping of words was Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Choo Choo Express.  

So it was a natural theme for the party this year.

Created using the software of MyDigitalStudio from Stampin UP.

So all that being said, here is what we did for Johnathan's 2nd birthday.

Using the balloons they sent and the Mickey dangles, I did a ribbon balloon banner of sorts from one pole to another at the park.  Made us easy to find and was a large but inexpensive impact.  The balloons were strung on using the tiny little rubber bands for hair.

Train PB & J sandwiches {Could have been Mickey heads easily, too, but I wanted to bring out the Choo Choo Express side of this party.}

Veggies, pasta salad, mini subs, & potato chips we brought back from a factory in Ohio during a side trip into Amish country while we there for the funeral.

We covered all the tables we would use in plastic table covers from the dollar tree. When you are sharing a pavilion at a park, I think it is good to mark your space so your guests know where to sit.  Plus it's cleaner, right?!

We always bring additional tables for the food.  The "cake" table, featuring the actual Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Choo Choo Express train.  Both my boys are quite train crazy...  

I also made the 3 ingredient Peanut Butter cookies as alternative treat.  Both older ones are allergic to dairy & wheat, so no cupcakes for them, but they want some fun food, too!

These are Death By Oreo cupcakes with the mini Oreos turned to look like ears.  :)

Make a Wish!

The kids like to dress for the theme of their party and since this was trains, Jesse & Johnathan dressed like train conductors with Abigale in her Minnie wear.

 The next day we went to the Magic Kingdom to continue to celebrate Johnathan's birthday weekend.  Often the children dress up when visiting Walt Disney World so Johnathan & Jesse again wore their costumes.  Besides a pirate or prince, there isn't much for boys to pick from, Disney.. 

Besides, Jesse's career plans have him eventually working on the Magic Kingdom trains or at least that is what he has stuck with for the last 3 years!

 Abigale took the princess route.

{I think she was trying to give me a "Princess~like stare".  haha

Had to meet some princesses while we were here, of course!  

Love it!

 Hopefully Johnathan had a fun & memorable birthday weekend and everyone had a great time playing & celebrating their own #DisneySide!

Thanks for looking~

Beyond Pinterest, there are some amazing party ideas at these websites, too.
http://www.disneysidecelebrations.com
www.Spoonful.com
www.DisneySide.com
Also just discovered a unique Disney sponsored parenting connection site called www.Babble.com that you might want to check out!

My Mother's Funeral and Celebration of Life

Not something you ever want to write, "My Mother's Funeral..".  Still feel so unreal.  I am fine, then all of the sudden a wave of emotion will hit me.  The reality that she is really gone.  Because she was in the hospital so much, sometimes my brain shuts off and I think she is just in there.  Then I realize.."oh, no, she is not coming back."  Surreal.  When we lost my grandmother, we had the same feelings because she spent summers in Ohio.  Still hard to grasp it's not even been 3 weeks.  

Again, I am sharing these details because I want to keep a fresh journal of the events surrounding the loss of my mother for myself and my children. But so many friends have walked this road with us and perhaps someone might need help in their own journey of loss.  So forgive my ramblings where they happen.

My mother, Donna, died on Sunday, February 2, 2014.  After arranging the preparations to have her body transferred to Ohio for the funeral and burial, we left on Wednesday at midnight and drove straight through with all the kids.  My Aunt Ann was kind enough to host this noisy brood.  It was the kids' first time seeing snow and they had a ball, despite the freezing temperatures and situation.

FYI: The pitter-patter of little feet sound like a herd of elephants in a house with a basement.

The funeral was held in Barberton at Cox Funeral home.  My mom's cousin, Pastor Jerry Butcher, brought the message.  We played "The Old Rugged Cross" performed by Alan Jackson and "Precious Lord, Take My Hand" preformed by mom's favorite, Elvis, before Jerry spoke.  Since he grew up with her, he shared special personal memories of her life.  He shared of her love to cook & bake, especially her "fold over cookies" she was famous for in the family.  He encouraged everyone to bake a batch of cookies and share them with someone to honor and remember her.  Such a sweet touch to pass on her passion for giving to others.  We closed the funeral service with the song she left this earth hearing, "I'll Fly Away" by Jars of Clay.

 She was buried next to her father and we had a short chapel service at the cemetery since it was too cold to go to the graveside.  A meal was served at Pastor Jerry's church, Crossroads Community in Doylestown.

As you probably know, I am a digital & papercrafter.  I had to use my gifts in this area..I just couldn't use the ones from the funeral home.  Here is her program.  

That evening we drove back to Florida, once again straight through but with the weather, it took 25 hours.  

Thursday, February 13, 2014, we held her Celebration of Life service at First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Florida.  Pastor Darrin Brown officiated the service bringign a clear message of the Gospel, with his wife, Kristi, singing "Precious Lord, Take My Hand" in the beginning and once again closing with a resounding send off of "I'll Fly Away".  

Darrin married us, was my boss when I worked at the church, and is a very dear friend to our family.  He was also there when mom went to be with the Lord.  He encouraged John & I to share from our hearts at the service.  I was apprehensive on what to say and if I could even speak.  But God gave me the strength to speak about her and our life together.  

So for those that couldn't be there, those that care, and for my children, it's long but this is what I read:

My mother was born Donna Gale Parsons in Akron, Ohio.  She was blessed to grow up in a very loving family, with her mom & dad and 3 younger brothers.  My grandmother was the oldest of her 6 brothers & sisters. My mother was the first niece and very close to all her aunts & uncles. She was married for a short time, had me & divorced by the time I was 3 months old.  So it was always just her & I.  The sacrifices she made to stand up for my safety and become a single mother shows me how strong & brave she was, especially in that era.  I will never fully know how much she protected me from, by doing this.  

She taught me the most important thing, about God.  From an early age, she said I might not know an earthly father, but I always had God the Father.  He made me, He loved me and wanted to be with me forever. And because of that, there was never a lacking or yearning in my life in that area.

  My grandmother was a widow when I came along so we lived with her most of my childhood.  This gave me a great appreciation for the stories of the older generations.  I think my love of vintage & retro comes from looking at all the pictures of them as young people then being a part of our large family gatherings really connected me to my great aunts & uncles.  Our house was often party central since my grandmother was the matriarch of the family.  So I learned from an early age how to throw a large gathering.  How to make people feel special at an event, that details mattered.  So later on when I worked here at the church, she was always at my right hand helping at the YoungMarried events.  She  was usually in the kitchen filling platters or cutting the desserts. When the kids birthday parties came along, she was right there to help me with the details.  She had such a big heart and wanted to make everyone feel special.

My mother loved to cook & bake and I am blessed to have picked up her love for all of that.  She & grandma cooked just about everything from scratch.  We laugh that I didn't have Chef Boyardee until a family friend gave it to me when I was 12.  She loved to make cookies and candies the most I think.  I joke that I grew up in Willy Wonka's house because my mom made chocolate candy creations for every holiday and sold them to area offices and through friends. From an early age, I was filling the colored chocolate little bunnies into the candy molds. In fact one year, she raised enough on easter candy, that we came here to Lakeland on vacation in 1986.  She loved it so much and knew this was where we were supposed to live.  2 years later she took a leap of faith and we moved here.

She loved to sew, whether making bridesmaids dresses, children's clothing, quilts or repairs.  She loved to collect material, buttons & details for that next potential project.  She could alter & make her own patterns, take ideas from one dress & merge them with another, & figure out how things were created just by looking at them. In her notepads, I have found sketch after sketch of dresses she saw & wanted to recreate for Abigale.  She used her creative gift to bless others whenever she could, too.  She found great joy in giving baby blankets to friends & coworkers.  I fully know any creative gifts I have, grew from her love of doing them and teaching me from an early age.

My mother was a beautician and her beauty parlor was in our basement.  She was a single working mom but still always around since she was at home.  When she moved here to Florida, she worked in retail as a cashier, head cashier , or the offices at PharMor & Home Depot.  She retired in 2004 because of her health.  Her work ethic was such an example to me, and others, I think.  The Bible says "Do all things to best of your ability as if working for God not man".  So whether she was teasing a bouffant hairdo, counting money, customer service, or some menial task; whatever the job you were given was to be completed well.  Even in personal life, she cared about the details, whether that meant bows on packages or ironing clothes. I  would like to think I carried that "best of my ability" theme into the places I worked and I am trying to instill that character into my kids.  

As a single mom, she focused most of her attention on me.  She loved to be a part of the things I loved to do!  So whether that was dancing or cheerleading as a kid, chasing the New Kids with me as a teen, helping make food for our singles' Soular Cafe each week, helping me with Stampin' Up classes I was teaching, or being a part of church events I was involved with, she was always right there with me.  My friends were her friends. My passions were hers.

Her greatest joy started about 6 years ago in Jesse, Abigale & Johnathan.  She was born to be a grandmother.  When we were pushing along fast, she walked slow with them.  She loved to do puzzles with them, to color & craft with them, loved to read to them, to take them out on dates; she'd spend an hour with them just looking at her little buttons collection & answering their questions on where each one came from. She just loved to spend moments with them.  My goal is to keep her memory alive for all them.  

My mother was my cheerleader, my best friend, my advocate & bodyguard, my lifelong #1 fan, my right hand beside me in everything. She loved me with her whole heart even when I didn't deserve it.  We drove each other nuts sometimes as all mothers & daughters can do but I knew she'd kill tigers for me. Through it all, I couldn't imagine her not being a part of every experience.  I am a better mother & person because of her.  My hope is that I can honor her in life through continuing to serve others like she did. 

I can find joy in the fact that I have the blessed assurance that I will see her again.  I can clearly see that God has had his hand on us through these last few months, that he was protecting us and preparing us, even when we didn't realize it.  And I know He is continuing to hold us up.  A few verses that I am clinging to are: 

Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

I can't imagine going through all of this without Him and the friends that are His hands & feet in our lives.  Thank you all so much.

So as we continue on this journey of loss, please keep us all in your prayers.  I know there will be rough days ahead as we continue to process our grief.  We pray that God's providence & glory will shine in our healing and response.  

And you just might hear me humming..."One Day at a Time, sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking from You"..

 ^{Jeremiah 29:11} For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

My Mother and Our Journey This Last Year

This is my mother, Donna.  This is our journey over this last year.  A lot of people ask what happened, what led to this since she was only 67.  I know my kids will ask so I am posting this here while I still recall the details.  It's long but you are invited to read & share in our story.

She had heart issues for the last 10 years.  In the winter/spring of 2013, heart & lung problems flared up along with a broken foot, making her have to move in with us since she needed help getting around, food, on oxygen, etc.  Normally, she lived alone in her own home and was fairly independent.  During the summer, she was fine but never moved back to her home, both for comfort of not being alone and lack of motivation probably.  She was active and even on October 3rd, went with the kids & I to the Florida Aquarium.  This would be the last healthy picture we would take together.

October 7th, 2013, she had a surgery to repair 3 hernias, a gallbladder removal and to repair & separate her intestines that had become twisted & entwined together with scar tissue, possibly from a previous bout of diverticulitis and/or the surgery she had for it about 6 years ago.  In that process, there was a "leak" or fistula, meaning there was an opening somewhere in the intestines that wasn't sealed in the surgical process.  She was put on "TPN" which was food/nutrients in IV fluid form, and not allowed to eat or drink. She also had drainage bags on both sides in hopes that the leak would heal itself.  She did not leave the hospital in 3 days like they had predicted.  Instead, she was in there for 2 months and 2 days straight along with a few other week long stays because of infections and pulling out the drainage on accident.  It was over 3 months of time in the hospital within a 4 month span.

Finally, we were beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel for her being able to eat again & "be normal".  On Monday, January 27, 2014, they removed the pic line, which meant she was officially off TPN and they had been weaning her back on normal food, starting with liquids over the previous week.  Bless her heart, she was so excited.  She had charted on the calender when she would be able to eat chicken, when she could eat beef, etc.  She & her friends were already making plans on which restaurants they were going to visit.  It had been a long 4 months without food & liquids, as you can imagine, including Thanksgiving & Christmas, so she was ready.  

Unfortunately, Tuesday, a swell came up on her side, that I can only describe as looking like a long balloon under her skin.  Her stomach starting hurting, too.  By Wednesday morning, she was not only in great pain, but the swell now looked black & bruised. We went to the ER and, of course, she was admitted. We said goodbye that night and surgery was scheduled for Thursday afternoon.  She was in so much pain Thursday, they kept her basically sedated but she did kind of respond when I kissed her goodbye.  After the surgery, the surgeon kept saying it was very serious, that she could only do part 1 of possibly 3-4 more surgeries, wasn't sure if her body could take the stress, etc.  But the problem with going in & out of the hospital so much is you kind of stop taking it seriously.  "I know this is bad but she was bad before and came out of it & pulled through".. so I wasn't fully grasping the severity of the situation. 

She was stable on Friday but on Saturday in the afternoon we got the call that you never want to hear.  My mom had coded and they were doing CPR on her, "please come quickly".  As I drove, I texted friend after friend "please pray". I thanked God for technology, to live in a time where I could reach that many people so quickly and know they would be holding me up in prayer.  I was singing "Blessed Be the Name".. this song has proven to be a life song for me through our losses and times of trials. "He gives and takes away, still I will choose to say, Lord, Blessed be Your Name".  Did I believe that? Yes.

When I arrived at the hospital, they had revived her and she was stable but they were saying the next 48 hours would be telling.  She was still intubated & sedated from the surgery so she was not responsive.  My mother in law was there and tried to get me to speak to her.  I just didn't know what to say as I looked at her in that state.  Finally as I was going to leave, I said "I love you, mommy" which isn't a term I had called her in quite a long time but it just naturally came out.

We decided to leave the kids with my mother in law in case they called again and left the hospital for the night.  All night my phone beeped with sweet messages & notifications from friends but the phone never rang. 

On Sunday, February 2nd, I decided to go to the hospital instead of church, even though they hadn't called, thinking she must have had a better night.  John went to pick up the kids. When I arrived, they frantically told me they had called & left messages, and that she had coded 2 other times.  Oddly, I didn't get the voicemails until that evening.  I quickly, and kind-of in shock, texted John that he needed to come now.  He turned around and dropped the kids back off and came up.  

Shortly after he arrived, she began to code again and we stood there while they preformed CPR on her and medically tried to bring her back again.  All I could hear in my head was "This. is. it.".  Whether that was God giving me a gentle awareness of the true reality happening here or it was just me, it was on repeat in my head.  John was praying, I was singing, and somehow saying "It's okay."  After they revived her again, both doctors came over to explain that her organs were shutting down, that her heart was dying, each time they revived her was actually getting worse for her body, they could continue to pound on her and repeat this process...or I could let her heart do what it wanted to do and let her die.  What a decision to put on someone...but I knew she didn't want to suffer....so I had to sign the "Do Not Resuscitate" papers.  

Soon, the pastor who had married us and such a dear friend arrived, along with John's brother, who is also a pastor.  We surrounded her bed and prayed.  I stood next to her and whispered thank yous and I love yous.  I sang "I'll Fly Away" into her ear and told her it was okay, she could go, she would always be remembered and loved.  As I said a last goodbye and continued singing that favorite hymn, one tear fell from her... and she was gone.  Now I will never know this side of heaven if that was her response in all of this, but I will choose to think that she could hear me and that was a little gift from God to know she did.  

If there is a good way to lose someone, this was a precious way to be a part of that departure.  To leave here hearing praise and arrive in Heaven hearing praise, in one blink.  What a welcome she must have received from all the loved ones that have gone before her.  And someday, I know & fully believe, I have the blessed assurance I will see her again. 

She held my hand and whispered sweetness into my ear as I came into this world.  And I was able to hold her hand and whisper love to her as she left and entered into Heaven.  What a gift. 

"so you will not grieve like those who have no hope." 1 Thessalonians 4:13b

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. — Psalm 34:18

October Dress Project ~ And so it begins

Hello!  I always like to start my posts like I am beginning a conversation.  Between some friends.  So here we go..

I have watched numerous friends be a part of the October Dress Project over the last 3+ years.  I have had an excuse each year not to participate, lame though the excuse might have been.  I loved watching them update their Facebook pages and blogs with the experiment results.  I really do look at this like an experiment.  

What can you do with what you have?

Understanding how much you really do already possess.

Learning new things...Humbling. Gratefulness. Introspection.  

And I suppose I was kind of envious of their adventure but not quite enough to sacrifice my vanity enough to join in their adventure.

Enter 2013.  Last week, I casually browsed the dresses at Ross.  I found two that could fit the bill.  I had my 3 year old daughter with me and went to try them on in the dressing room.  As I sat in front of the mirror, I examined them and me in them and did what a lot of women do.. I started to pick it a part..and to pick me a part in my head.  And then I stopped.  I looked at A who was confused why I didn't love both beautiful dresses.  And I realized that she sees me a whole lot different than I was {critically} seeing myself.  She might have just given me a glimpse of the loving way Jesus sees us.  He sees us as beautiful, regardless of our outer appearance and what we buy to cover up what ever "flaws" we think we possess.  He made us in His image and I am pretty sure I grew up knowing that  "God don't make no junk"!  

..And then I didn't buy it.  I was still not sure I could do it, I be creative enough, cute enough, if it was flattering enough, and then I had 2 field trips, and our numerous trips to Disney in the Florida heat...enter the lame excuses.  

So I wrestled a little with it, maybe with God, maybe with obedience?  And then I started bargaining, maybe "fleecing".. Well, if the dress was still there, then that was the direction, the clear sign, I was supposed to be a part of #odp13.  And a day later, I walked into the store, and it was exactly where I left it the afternoon before.  Still on the hanger in the same way I had hung it, in a very busy store during some "dress event".  So there you go.  I had my clear answer.

So not sure I can live up to the creativity of my friends, but I have a feeling that is not really the point, now is it?

Day one. Photo by J Dearie, 5.

Thanks for reading!  If you want to follow me on instagram, I will be taking a picture everyday hopefully, with a weekly wrap up here.

Or maybe join us..it's not too late!  

Letters not sent..

Am I the only one that creates Christmas cards, addresses them & all that, and never quite sends them out?  

I have some from last year, lots from this year, and not too long ago, I found a batch of Christmas cards not sent from 1998.   

I do not mean to be negligent in my greetings.  I have every intention of sending them out.  Can I tell you how many thank you notes I have found written and not sent.  So if you have not received the Thank You note for a gift for Jesse {mind you from 2007}, please do not judge me.  I wrote them, then lost them, then found again much too late to send, I assume.  Yet, I still continue to create them & write them and, yes, I am still working on the current babies & birthdays... 
This year I even handmade little photo books for various relatives.  You guessed it, only a couple were given out.  And, of course, now the photos of us are missing someone, so they are kind of out of date....ugh.

Maybe, one day, I will send a large envelope out to my friends that will include all the correspondence I *meant* to send.  So don't be surprised one day if you receive 3 or 4 Christmas cards, a few Thank you Notes, printed pictures from now & years back, and let's not forget those baby announcements I work so hard on designing, then print and never send. 
So until that package arrives, enjoy this *possible* announcement for our #3.  See it hasn't been perfected & printed quite yet...maybe this time they really will get sent.

Maybe.

I am just including this print I *might* get made of the beautiful shot that my friend & fantastic photographer took, K.Barber Photography. 

If you know who the quote is from, let me know, too.  I got it from a baby border on MyDigitalStudio.

Thanks for reading!

Photo by K.Barber Photography

First movie trips, Breakdowns and the Reality of Her

Abigale.

Hmmm..where do you start.  

She is definitely a girl.  

She often lives up to the princess moniker we sometimes give her in love or in jest.

When she wants something, she wants it NOW.

She came out of me screaming at the top of her lungs, stiff as a board, her eyes wide open and not much has changed.

She doesn't care to be held, even when she was younger and I was still nursing her.  It was almost a fight in the end so I finally gave up at 13 or so months.

She will win any staring contest you try with her.  Like stare a hole right through you.  Try it.

I never bought it when people said their child held their head up in the hospital.  I would now.  Abigale never did the squishy baby, snuggle-down-in kind of thing.  We would try to push her head down to our shoulder or chest and she always felt like she was pushing away.  Still does.

I can remember two times in her life that she has rested her head on my chest and she was sick both instances.  I oddly cherish those moments I can steal the lovin'.

She is often inconsolable which is frustrating and can make you feel like you are not a good mom..after all, aren't you supposed to be their go-to comforter?

We joke that she is like the Hulk, you wouldn't like her when she's angry.  I secretly wonder if the steroids they gave me about a month before her birth really do have anything to do with her personality.

I realize she is almost 18 months and some of those traits are typical for her age.  But, since I only have one other child and the experiences of raising him to compare her to, her personality comes as a bit of surprise sometimes.  I know, don't compare them.  each child is different.  yeah yeah.

~

So today we went to see a free movie at the only nice theater in town.  Thank goodness mom went with me!  They were playing the Pirates That Don't Do Anything from Veggie Tales.  

Jesse was going to love it and he is fairly good in the theater.  {Loved Cars 2, by the way!}

It was Abigale's first movie in a theater.  She started wrenching within 10 minutes.  

At 15 minutes, she was screaming despite the popcorn, gummy bears, and yes, even Junior Mints I was trying to feed her.  So I left Jesse with mom and went out to the lobby.  

People might have got into the theater for free but they still wanted to enjoy the movie. 

I realized my mistake was that I was holding her. She was fine sitting on the bench with me but the holding, trapped feeling is what she didn't like.  

After about 30-40 minutes, I went back in and Jesse was sitting on mom's lap so Abigale would now have a seat.  So we tried it again and it went much better for the last 10 minutes of the movie.

Why does it take us so long to get things sometimes?  You would think I would know my own child by now.  But I think I am getting to know her more and more.

I look forward to meeting the person she is going to become.

Tonight, she was screaming long after Jesse was asleep so we went in to get her.  We let her come back out and totter around.  She kept bringing me random clothes to put on her in funny places.  I complied because, frankly, it was the first time she had done this, outside of her love of shoes and putting them on.  {Is that shoe-thing just in women at birth?}

And here is the outfit she "asked" to wear and played in for a good 10-15 minutes at least.

I could just see her little personality oozing out.  

I could see flashes of the future dress up time to come.

I look forward to meeting that future Abigale. 
But until then, I am going to enjoy the gift of her at this age. 

This gift God has entrusted me with...

{More for fun}

So lady like, right? 

Tonight Abigale is modeling a too-small jammy as her base, Jesse's USA shorts, 1 red water shoe, his jammy shirt as a necklace, his swimming trucks and YES underwear on her head.  A lovely assemble of her own choosing!

Fashionistas Look Out!

Encouragement, Perspective, and a little Giveaway

{The giveaway is done but the post is a good reminder to keep.}
Where do you go for encouragement?  My friends are where I turn.  And my mom.  And my husband.  I am blessed to be surrounded by a crowd of people who are gifted in this.  

If they are not, frankly, I would rather not surround myself with negative people...  

Life is too short and living life to it's fullest potential is too important. 

Encouragement is a powerful thing.  

I am so privileged to be a part of a MOPS group at my church.   During the school year, every Tuesday is filled with encouraging talks on applicable subjects along with practical Bible study by an amazing teacher.  It is a time for us to get together and encourage each other to be better moms, wives, and women of God.  I wouldn't be the same without the influence of these beautiful women! 

{Shameless plug, we start back August 30th, if you are local.  If not, please find a MOPS group in your area!  You will not regret it!  I have found some of my closest friends in that group.}

I had the opportunity to be a part of a review giveaway program through Dayspring and the incourage product line. They really do have some beautiful stuff.  

This is the fun whimsical item that I picked out.

Photo courtesy of Dayspring and incourage.

 It arrived packed extremely well.  A massive box, lots of balloon type packaging.  You can tell they are used to shipping fragile items at Dayspring.  

This guy isn't delicate, thank goodness, he is all medal.  It came with 3 magnets, as pictured.  The idea being you could put pictures or invites or whatever memos you might need to remember.

When I opened it up, there is a very large over-sized loop on the back to hang it from the wall.  

When I first saw it, I briefly thought it was an easel.  Obviously, it isn't but it left me wishing it would have had that option rather than just hanging on a wall.

Other than not meeting my unrealistic expectation-on-a-whim, it is a delightful product that will make a lovely addition to our master bathroom. 

I am secretly hoping for some love notes of encouragement. ;)

However, here is what happened to mine:

Can you see that?  That is a pen left on the counter, grabbed by a little boy, who found he needed to trace the circle magnets and leave me some doodles, as well.

Admittedly, I was saddened when I saw the pen marks all over the once-pristine shiny board.

But then I had to quickly step back and re-read the bottom line message of this product.

Count Your Blessings.

Count is as a gift that I have a mobile active 3 year old that thinks every doodle is precious and life is his canvas.  

Will I try to clean it off.  I might.  But perhaps I might leave it as a reminder that life moves pretty fast, I am so blessed and doodles don't last....

So I want to encourage you to look at those little messes as blessings or gifts every now and then.  Before you scold, remember that it won't last and tomorrow they will be gone.   Faster than we can even imagine.

And I bet I will miss those little surprises of art he leaves behind.

Now for the Giveaway!

For one lucky reader,  you will win a $20 credit to purchase whatever you like in the incourage product line!
To enter, all you need to do is #1. follow me and #2 leave a comment below telling me that you have done this.
And if you want to tell me what encourages you, that would just be a nice little bonus for me!
Super easy!
Contest ends July 5th @ 9 pm.
Good luck!

To adhere to the FTC requirements, I wan to tell you that DaySpring gave me the free product to review and all opinions stated are my own.